And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
