What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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