But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
