I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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