i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize