So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
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