how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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