'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
