I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
It was confusing and full of hummus
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
