And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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