Michael Bay diarrhea
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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