I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
