Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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