Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
