Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I am available for nakedness
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
