I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
