And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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