we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
