Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
