maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
splinters make it hard to masturbate
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
