i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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