the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
