got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
