He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
