Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
