she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
