i think i have two assholes
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
