Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
