The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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