Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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