The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
