He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
