is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
