it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
should my penis look like a turkey
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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