I hate all girls vehemently.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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