I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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