I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I take back everything I said about communal showers
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
