she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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