U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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