I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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