dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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