Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
