dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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