she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
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