Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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