Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
