wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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