You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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