I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
