A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
He passed out mid-signature
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
