I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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