He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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