I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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